TEH Family Tree of Life
Just like that big fella at Disney's Animal Kingdom.
But more people are likely to see this one.
This is a proper recounting of TEH's geneology. Two cousins have been excluded because one is off living in a flat in Brussels, and that other one has that ridiculous haircut and a terribly forgettable name.
Version 1 - [the world may never know]
The first iteration of TEH clogging up the internet. The layout was not based on Tootsie Roll Pops, or their advertising campaigns. To my own disappointment.
Version 2 - [Draaagon Ash (in some form or another)]
Today the makers of SUPER PONG KNOCKOFF
(patent non-pending) and CARPELTUNNEL DELUXE™ are proud to announce TEH™: CROON OF THE DECEASED DRAGON™ ,. The long awaited follow-up to the critically acclaimed TEH™, players will again tranverse over countless pages of text to discover hidden treasures and struggle against the devious syntax that lurk close at hand. Available for PERSONAL HOME COMPUTING SYSTEMS, holiday - day-day-day
daydayday burdurrrrrrrh
. . .
press release end []
Version 3 - [TEH Baka]
Brady Bunch meets Plastic Tree for Baka ni Natta no Ni which makes for great TEH layouts. Cripes, now I want to make a Brady Bunch layout next. Stay tuned. Also, TEH Rowdy is still like the banner of choice for those guys who hold those "9/10 people" studies and stuff.
Version 4 - [TEH Bears pt.1]
This and the next one might be interchangable. I don't remember which came first.
I do, however, know that the robins lay small, blue eggs. BWARK, BWARK, BWA-BWA-BRWARK.
Oh yeah, this featured two really chilled-out (lolpun) bears and it was wintery.
Version 5 - [TEH Scary]
Halloween is like the worst holiday ever because all the secular wackos tell you to dress up in costumes, collecting candy and holding undead parties, but the only undead party I'm for is checking out the freakin' dancing Majora's Mask Redeads busting out their COSSACK, and every day is "Wear an Awesome Outfit" day but everybody else is like "YOU CAN'T WEAR THAT LAUNCHPAD COSTUME INTO DISNEYLAND BECAUSE YOU'LL CONFUSE THE CHILDREN".
Plus I buy my candy FOR MYSELF IN BULK so I'm getting a good deal and eating STUFF I ACTUALLY WANT, and I'm not freeloading for my sugary goods I'M GIVING MONEY INTO THE ECONOMY TO HELP POOR EMPLOYEES AT A STRUGGLING CANDY MANUFACTURER. BLAST YOU CANDY-TAKING FIENDISH HOTTENTOTS!
Version 6 - [TEH Bears pt. 2]
The riveting return of TEH bears. Actually it was a bear, and a rabbit, and two people. Which just muddles with the whole thing. It was one of those things that seemed good at the time, and it was near the cash register. Impulse buys never turn out good for me, well except for those few times they did I think but they don't really count too much. Still, better an impulse buy than an impulse
bomb.
Version 7 - [TEH Dog]
You know, that dog has plenty of book smarts but I'm rather curious about how he is able to deal with some of these problems firsthand. He rides in the baby walker and thinks it might be fun, but he doesn't realize the imminent danger of stairways and high velocity. Yet he knows exactly how to change a child's diaper AND set up a crib correctly, claiming "These things always give me problems". Did he somehow come into contact with these cribs while at the pet shop? Did he have a former owner who had such a thing?
Maybe the dog's former owner was the father's boss who loves "loyal dogs", who sold him to the pet shop so the boss is actually a huge hypocrite.
SHELLSHOCKING PLOT TWIST.
Version 8 - [TEH Dwarf]
This featured the little dude who tormented Tornado Makio during his stint through high school. TEH Dwarf is powerful indeed, but even he had to become a woodsman. Granted, the transformation isn't too farfetched. After all, I'm sure carpentry and lumber would prove to be a more stable source of income, instead of having to scout out mines all day long. Not to mention that if he was anything like those dwarves from Gauntlet, he needs to eat more often. They always need food
badly, but that's what they get for not buying more Meat and Cherries in the shop beforehand.
Version 9 - [TEH Bears 3 (IHBS)]
what you see is what you get
The first time you find Sleepy, it's amusing. When you meet again in a forest, it's a little less so. It's like Animal Crossing all over again, but at least it doesn't fall into a river and MELT and then you have to wait another WEEK before you can make a freakin' snowman who may not even be the right size so then he'll chastise you for it.
Wretched ungrateful animals and .... inanimate snow beings. I don't want your stationary or your "future shirt", I'LL SHOW YOU THE FUTURE, SHIRT, GET IT!?
Actually, I don't get it. But regardless this layout makes me colon D.
And there goes the battle.
They're eyeing their opponent warily
